Resolutions......It's That Time Again!!

Resolution is about determination and strong will.  It's about putting your mind toward something and seeing it through to completion.  Other words that come to mind are: dedication, perseverance, heart, energy, intent, tenacity, moxie.  So why are so many "New Years Resolutions" broken before the end of the first week of the new year?  I think we need to put our resolve back into our resolutions.

We live in a quick fix society.  If results are not instantaneous we are quick to pass judgment and proclaim failure.  Likewise, if we fall off the "cold turkey" bandwagon (think diet and smoking cessation here) we feel that we have failed.  "Try, try, try again" has fallen out of favour.  Our confidence is easily shattered at the first small taste of failure and patience is becoming a rare commodity in our culture.

What was your state of mind 10 years ago?  You were probably a different person than you are now.  When you make your resolutions this year think about where you want to be in 10 years time.  Anything is possible over the course of a decade.  Changes in your personal life, your professional life, your spiritual life, it does not matter what it is you desire to change.  With ample time anything is possible.  All you have to do is add the resolve.  Can't quit smoking cold turkey?  Resolve to smoke less each day, each week, each month.  Can't lose 20 lbs in 2 months?  Resolve to walk for 20 minutes 3 times per week, then 4, then 5, then make one walk 30 minutes.  Be tenacious.  Try, try, try again and again.  The slow and patient approach will break down the old habits without the anxiety you have come to associate with the quick fix approach.  Put your attention on what you can do right now and don't get hung up on unattainable goals and past failures.  We really need to enjoy what we are doing everyday.  Resolutions should not be viewed as punishment for past sins.  Resolutions should open the door to a happier life.

What is my resolution this year?  I resolve to be more mindful of each moment and live each one fully.  This year I resolve to give a resounding NO to multitasking every time it rears it's ugly head.  Perhaps we can all resolve to slow down just a little, appreciate our good fortune, then share some of it with someone less fortunate.

Happy New Year!!!

Copenhagen

I woke up after too little sleep.  Waking before my alarm is becoming a habit, in fact I rarely bother using an alarm anymore.  There is much on my mind this morning that has me questioning my choice of livelihood.  From issues that are deeply personal to the value of my work to the community as a whole, I am struggling to make sense of the world this morning.  I am overwhelmed by the enormity of the problems that face us on a global scale.  Bombarded with so much information about the world we live in I am left wondering what positive impact I could possibly have.  What can I do as an individual to make a difference?  To make a contribution?  To have a positive effect?  I know I am not alone with these thoughts and feelings.  This is becoming a common thread, a common feeling, as I read others blogs and comments on blogs.

Our leaders are meeting in Copenhagen this week.  I have no confidence that our elected representatives from Canada have my best interests at heart.  They will follow the money.  The short term money.  They seem to have no eye for the reality of the situation.  No understanding of the interdependence we share with all life on this planet.  I don't need a scientific study to tell me when we are getting it wrong.  We can all see it now.  We are all starting to feel it.  It is instinctual.

We are been misled.  It's time to wake up.  It's time to do what is right not just what is comfortable.

Breakdown

It's not only the equipment that breaks down out on the road.  I'm suffering from a deep feeling of mental fatigue today.  It builds up inside of you.  A combination of sleep debt and the stress of simply not knowing how your schedule is going to pan out.

I could here the fatigue in Deb's voice tonight when I made my daily call home. We tell one another everything is fine, everything is OK, things will work out as they usually do.  But the negative vibes have a way of humming across the airwaves.  We both know better. Our separation will have stretched out over 30 days on this trip, the result of equipment failure.  The result of breakdown.

We reciprocate:  "I miss you", "I love you",  "Talk to you tomorrow", neither one of us wanting to end the conversation.  Today we were both filled with a deep melancholy.

That mental fatigue has another name:  Loneliness.  

Incredible!!

I can't believe it.  After posting about bad luck and frustration earlier today I experienced yet another dose.  I didn't make it fifteen minutes away from our Calgary yard when all the bells, whistles and warning lights started going off on the truck.  My second major breakdown in the last week.

In my last post I quoted the Russian proverb: "He that is afraid of bad luck will never know good".  Perhaps what would be more appropriate for me is the old standby: "If it wasn't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all".

Frustration: Trucking's Common Denominator

The temperature is -17C, the wind is blowing and the snow is still falling, not heavily, but the wind is building some large drifts.  I am in Calgary.  It is a Sunday morning.  The trailer I have to hook on to has a four foot high by twelve foot deep pile of snow in front of it.  I am waiting for assistance to get me on my way to Winnipeg.  This has been the way things have gone for the last couple of weeks for me.  Murphys's Law: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.  It seems that bad luck and difficulties come in bunches in this business.  I'm not the first driver to experience that and I certainly won't be the last.  It is a test of your emotional well being when it seems that everything you touch falls apart or at the very least, does not work as it should.

There is a Russian proverb that says: "He that is afraid of bad luck will never know good".  I must be in store for a really big chunk of good luck.  Here's what my last week looked like:

• My dedicated truck is sitting in Edmonton waiting on a new engine.  Lost the #6 piston a week ago - not pretty.  Getting the engine replaced.
  
• Ran a 2800 km switch in a day cab last weekend as a result of the above - that was fun
• Slipped into another truck and started having problems with a temperature sensor (I think) last night.
• This morning I can't get to the trailer to leave the yard - snowed in.

So I wonder how I'm going to make out getting to Winnipeg and back over the next couple of days?  I do know I'm going to enjoy a couple of days off to reset my log book when I get back to Calgary.

That's the way it is out here.  Driver's spend two, three, four weeks or more out on the road dealing with the frustration as best they can.  It's a challenging lifestyle.  It can be difficult to keep in perspective at times.