The fact that I am a long haul truck driver often leaves me feeling empty inside. I find the solitude and independence inherent in this profession attractive yet repelling at the same time. I find it especially difficult to go back out on the road after the Christmas holidays. In fact any family event has the same effect on me. It is at these times that I question my choice of livelihood. The benefits of solitude and independence take a back seat to feelings of companionship, fellowship and community. This is when the feelings of emptiness set in and the existential questions begin. Does my work make a difference? Do I make a difference? Is my work helpful to others? How can I possibly be of help to others sitting in a truck all day? Is my job harmful to others in any way? How can I participate in my community if I'm away for extended periods? The work provides economic support but what about being there for my family?
I read somewhere that in the province of Ontario fully 50% of the people that obtain their class A license give up their aspirations for a career in trucking within the first year. Right Livelihood? After 10 years over the road I'm still not sure myself. Maybe I have yet to find my niche in the world of trucking. For now, it's back to the road!
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Stumbled on this while checking out people who garden. About your question, yes people like you do matter. How else would the goods get out there. when I was younger I considered your line of work but opted for being outside doing construction work. It's got to be hard being away from family. I'm close to retirement now and just started doing the blog thing to meet interesting people. Hope you can resolve the driving issue. SXW
ReplyDeleteThanks for the feedback Bogaman. I really enjoy the work. Yea, it's all about being away from family that causes the stress. I think a lot in this line of work. That's part of the problem too. lol. That is also why I started to journal, write, then blog. Great therapy.
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